1
00:00:08,931 --> 00:00:09,931
Are you ready, kids?

2
00:00:10,034 --> 00:00:12,068
Kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

3
00:00:12,172 --> 00:00:13,310
I can't hear you.

4
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:14,586
Aye, aye, Captain!

5
00:00:14,689 --> 00:00:17,137
♪ Oh...

6
00:00:17,241 --> 00:00:20,275
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

7
00:00:20,379 --> 00:00:21,482
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

8
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,793
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he. ♪

9
00:00:23,896 --> 00:00:25,172
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

10
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:28,379
♪ If nautical nonsense be
something you wish... ♪

11
00:00:28,482 --> 00:00:29,758
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

12
00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:32,379
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish. ♪

13
00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:34,206
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

14
00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:36,275
♪ Ready?
SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

15
00:00:36,379 --> 00:00:39,275
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

16
00:00:39,379 --> 00:00:40,241
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

17
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,793
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

18
00:00:45,137 --> 00:00:48,758
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

19
00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:52,206
[and NICKELODEON]

20
00:01:04,068 --> 00:01:05,241
Here you go, sir.

21
00:01:05,344 --> 00:01:09,344
A King Size
Ultra Krabby Supreme
with the works

22
00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:12,517
double batter-fried on a stick.

23
00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:14,310
Thanks!

24
00:01:14,413 --> 00:01:15,413
Barnacle head.

25
00:01:15,448 --> 00:01:16,241
Pardon me?

26
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:17,424
You forgot your mayonnaise.

27
00:01:17,482 --> 00:01:19,620
Thanks.

28
00:01:20,931 --> 00:01:24,344
Look at them eating
that garbage.

29
00:01:24,448 --> 00:01:26,482
It's disgusting.

30
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:29,034
They're sickening.

31
00:01:29,137 --> 00:01:30,551
I hate Krabby Patties.

32
00:01:33,517 --> 00:01:34,758
Good one, Squidward!

33
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:35,758
Good what?

34
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,379
Like you don't know.

35
00:01:37,482 --> 00:01:39,758
Saying "I hate Krabby Patties."

36
00:01:39,862 --> 00:01:40,758
That's hilarious!

37
00:01:40,862 --> 00:01:43,137
Everyone loves Krabby Patties.

38
00:01:43,241 --> 00:01:45,344
Yeah, well, not me.

39
00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:47,965
You're good at that.

40
00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:49,172
Hey, everyone!

41
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:52,931
Squid says he doesn't
like Krabby Patties. Ha!

42
00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:56,620
Good one, Squidward!

43
00:01:57,758 --> 00:01:58,827
Don't encourage them!

44
00:01:58,931 --> 00:01:59,931
They'll never leave.

45
00:02:00,034 --> 00:02:01,103
Sorry, Squidward.

46
00:02:01,206 --> 00:02:02,551
It's just so funny.

47
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:03,931
You know what we say:

48
00:02:04,034 --> 00:02:08,137
The only people
who don't like a Krabby Patty

49
00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:09,517
have never tasted one.

50
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,241
That's me.

51
00:02:11,344 --> 00:02:14,137
Never had one, never will.

52
00:02:15,517 --> 00:02:16,896
What?

53
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:17,620
What?

54
00:02:17,724 --> 00:02:18,517
What did you say?

55
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:20,068
I've never had a Krabby Patty

56
00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:20,862
and never will.

57
00:02:20,965 --> 00:02:22,000
I'm sorry... I don't...

58
00:02:22,103 --> 00:02:24,620
I've never had a Krabby Patty.

59
00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:25,448
Those words!

60
00:02:25,551 --> 00:02:26,793
Is it possible to use them

61
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,068
in a sentence
together like that?

62
00:02:29,172 --> 00:02:32,827
I've never had a Krabby Patty!
I've never had a Krabby Patty!
I've never had a Krabby Patty!

63
00:02:32,931 --> 00:02:34,034
Never had a Krabby Patty?

64
00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:36,206
Well, you've gotta have one
right now!

65
00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:38,620
No wonder you're
always so miserable!

66
00:02:38,724 --> 00:02:39,517
Here, try this!

67
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:40,896
Get that garbage outta my face!

68
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,655
If you try it, you'll love it!

69
00:02:43,758 --> 00:02:47,034
Try one of those radioactive
sludge balls you call food?

70
00:02:47,137 --> 00:02:51,827
Next I suppose you'll want me to
go square-dancing with Patrick.

71
00:02:51,931 --> 00:02:53,413
Sorry, Patrick.

72
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,896
Come on, you're gonna...

73
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:56,862
No.

74
00:02:56,965 --> 00:02:57,965
Open up the tunnel.

75
00:02:58,068 --> 00:02:58,551
Here comes the train.

76
00:02:58,655 --> 00:03:00,517
Choo-choo...

77
00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:01,448
No!

78
00:03:01,551 --> 00:03:03,103
Whoop! What's that
in your ear?

79
00:03:03,206 --> 00:03:03,931
Quit it.

80
00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:05,137
Come on, open wide!

81
00:03:05,241 --> 00:03:07,000
SpongeBob, if I were trapped

82
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:10,000
at the bottom of a
well for three years

83
00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:13,103
with nothing to eat
but that Krabby Patty

84
00:03:13,206 --> 00:03:14,965
I'd eat my own legs first!

85
00:03:15,068 --> 00:03:16,862
And not just the extra ones.

86
00:03:16,965 --> 00:03:18,034
But it's good for you!

87
00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:19,137
Good for you?

88
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,389
That thing is a heart attack
on a bun!

89
00:03:20,413 --> 00:03:26,172
No, Squidward, I meant...
good for your soul.

90
00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:30,310
Oh, puh-leez! I have no soul.

91
00:03:34,655 --> 00:03:35,689
Okay, just half.

92
00:03:35,793 --> 00:03:36,655
No.

93
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:37,758
A quarter?

94
00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:38,655
No.

95
00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:40,448
One bite?

96
00:03:41,275 --> 00:03:42,275
Just smell it.

97
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:43,931
If I didn't want it out there

98
00:03:44,034 --> 00:03:46,068
what makes you think I'd find it

99
00:03:46,172 --> 00:03:48,379
more appealing in here?!

100
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,413
Come on, Squidward.

101
00:03:50,517 --> 00:03:51,827
No.

102
00:03:53,793 --> 00:03:54,931
One bite.

103
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:55,724
No.

104
00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:57,448
You won't be sorry.

105
00:03:57,551 --> 00:03:59,206
No!

106
00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:00,620
It's delicious...

107
00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:03,827
SpongeBob, how long are you
prepared to keep this up?

108
00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:08,827
Give me that!

109
00:04:08,931 --> 00:04:13,172
When I die... you stay
away from my funeral.

110
00:04:13,758 --> 00:04:16,620
Ohh... do I really...

111
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:19,724
Ah...

112
00:04:20,655 --> 00:04:23,758
Ooh...

113
00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:26,413
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...

114
00:04:36,448 --> 00:04:41,586
Why... this Krabby Patty
may be the most...

115
00:04:41,689 --> 00:04:43,655
Horrible!

116
00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:44,758
Putrid!

117
00:04:44,793 --> 00:04:46,827
Poorly prepared!
Vile!

118
00:04:46,931 --> 00:04:47,724
Unappetizing!

119
00:04:47,827 --> 00:04:50,172
Disgusting excuse for a sandwich

120
00:04:50,275 --> 00:04:52,517
it has ever been my displeasure

121
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:55,448
to have slither down my throat!

122
00:04:55,551 --> 00:04:56,344
But..

123
00:04:56,448 --> 00:04:58,551
And I curse this Krabby Patty

124
00:04:58,655 --> 00:05:01,896
and all who enjoy them
to an early

125
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,931
and well-deserved grave!

126
00:05:06,689 --> 00:05:07,551
Get it?

127
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,275
But it doesn't make any sense

128
00:05:09,379 --> 00:05:11,689
The Krabby Patty
is an absolute good.

129
00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:13,724
Nobody is immune
to its tasty charms.

130
00:05:13,827 --> 00:05:15,758
Nobody but me.

131
00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:16,965
Are you sure?

132
00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:20,275
Does this look unsure to you?

133
00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:22,137
No.

134
00:05:22,241 --> 00:05:22,931
Good!

135
00:05:23,034 --> 00:05:24,896
Now go spread the word.

136
00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:34,448
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!

137
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:35,172
Ah...

138
00:05:35,275 --> 00:05:38,275
Still alive!

139
00:05:40,827 --> 00:05:43,413
Oh, so delicious!

140
00:05:44,275 --> 00:05:45,862
Oh...! The wasted years!

141
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:56,000
I got to have more.
I got to have more!

142
00:05:58,586 --> 00:05:59,965
But wait!

143
00:06:00,586 --> 00:06:01,689
After that performance

144
00:06:01,793 --> 00:06:03,310
he'd never let me live it down!

145
00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:05,689
I gotta sneak one, just one...

146
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:08,275
then I'm off the stuff for good!

147
00:06:08,379 --> 00:06:09,758
I didn't think it was possible

148
00:06:09,862 --> 00:06:13,793
but I guess some people
just don't like Krabby Patties!

149
00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:22,068
Uh, SpongeBob?

150
00:06:22,172 --> 00:06:23,379
Yes, Squidward?

151
00:06:23,482 --> 00:06:26,172
I need a Triple Krabby Supreme
on a kelp bun

152
00:06:26,275 --> 00:06:30,896
with extra sea pickle and,
and burn it to a crisp, okay?

153
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,827
Coming right up!

154
00:06:32,931 --> 00:06:33,724
Listen, Squidward.

155
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,206
I want to apologize for before.

156
00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:38,586
I was only trying
to make you happy.

157
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,655
But now I've learned

158
00:06:44,758 --> 00:06:46,278
there's room for
all kinds of people...

159
00:06:48,137 --> 00:06:52,896
and they don't
all have to like
the same things.

160
00:06:54,793 --> 00:06:55,482
Don't go.

161
00:06:55,586 --> 00:06:56,379
While I strongly disagree

162
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,700
with your decision, I accept it.

163
00:06:57,724 --> 00:07:02,206
You know, it's not often
I get to make one like this.

164
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,517
I want to see the look
on their face

165
00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:06,689
when they take that first bite.

166
00:07:07,103 --> 00:07:09,586
Triple Krabby Supreme!

167
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:10,724
Triple Krabby Supreme!

168
00:07:10,827 --> 00:07:14,586
Did somebody order
a Triple Krabby Supreme?

169
00:07:14,689 --> 00:07:15,931
Huh? They must have left.

170
00:07:16,034 --> 00:07:19,344
Well, uh, why don't you
just uh, leave it out here

171
00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:20,724
in case they come back.

172
00:07:20,827 --> 00:07:23,655
Nope, a patty this special
should be eaten fresh

173
00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:27,000
and... well... I haven't
had one of these babies

174
00:07:27,103 --> 00:07:28,724
in over 20 minutes so...

175
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:34,379
Well, whoever they were,
they had great taste!

176
00:07:36,275 --> 00:07:39,689
Mm, mm-hmm-hmm,
mm-hmm-hmm-hmm...

177
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:44,344
Ah, they don't know
what they're missing.

178
00:07:44,448 --> 00:07:45,551
Well, back to work.

179
00:07:45,655 --> 00:07:46,413
What do I have to do?

180
00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:48,758
Eat one out of the garbage?

181
00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:52,896
I wish I could eat this,
but I'm so darn full.

182
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,517
Oh well.

183
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:59,448
I had to say garbage...
but okay!

184
00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:09,655
Bleah...

185
00:08:12,275 --> 00:08:14,413
Oh no, what's this doing here?

186
00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:16,655
This patty should be cremated!

187
00:08:21,206 --> 00:08:23,551
I know you didn't like him

188
00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:27,310
but it means so much
that you came.

189
00:08:52,413 --> 00:08:54,413
Honey?

190
00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:55,620
What? Oh...

191
00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:59,379
I have got to get my hands
on a Krabby Patty!

192
00:08:59,482 --> 00:09:01,448
And no one's going to stop me.

193
00:09:08,517 --> 00:09:10,586
There it is...

194
00:09:18,655 --> 00:09:19,413
Holy shrimp!

195
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,724
I don't know where to start.

196
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,620
All that matters is that

197
00:09:23,724 --> 00:09:26,724
it's just you... and me...
and nobody...

198
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,241
Squidward?

199
00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:29,517
Is that you?

200
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:30,689
SpongeBob?

201
00:09:30,793 --> 00:09:33,689
Uh, uh, uh...
what are you doing here?

202
00:09:33,793 --> 00:09:36,379
I always come to work
at 3:00 a.m.

203
00:09:36,482 --> 00:09:38,413
This is when I count
the sesame seeds.

204
00:09:38,517 --> 00:09:39,620
What are you doing here?

205
00:09:39,724 --> 00:09:41,241
Uh... I forgot my...

206
00:09:41,344 --> 00:09:43,241
And why is the patty vault open?

207
00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:45,827
And why are you holding
a patty behind your back?

208
00:09:45,931 --> 00:09:48,275
I... I... I...
no, I didn't do...

209
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,562
And why are you
acting so nervous?

210
00:09:49,586 --> 00:09:52,517
And why are you
sweating so much?

211
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,551
And why do you look so hungry?

212
00:09:55,655 --> 00:09:57,586
No, wait... it's
not what you think.

213
00:09:57,689 --> 00:09:59,517
Th-this is a big
misunderstanding.

214
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:01,275
You've got to believe me, I...

215
00:10:01,379 --> 00:10:02,517
Listen, I am telling you...

216
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:04,172
You better listen
to me, SpongeBob.

217
00:10:04,275 --> 00:10:08,517
You like Krabby Patties,
don't you, Squidward?

218
00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:13,448
Yes! Yes! I admit it, SpongeBob!

219
00:10:13,551 --> 00:10:17,103
I loveKrabby Patties!

220
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,896
I knew it all along, Squidward.

221
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,344
No one can resist
a Krabby Patty.

222
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:34,137
Squidward!
How many are you eating?

223
00:10:34,241 --> 00:10:35,241
Squidward!

224
00:10:42,827 --> 00:10:48,137
Squidward, you can't eat
all those patties at one time!

225
00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:49,655
Squidward!

226
00:10:49,758 --> 00:10:51,206
What's gonna happen?

227
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,793
Am I gonna blow up?

228
00:10:52,896 --> 00:10:57,137
No, worse... it'll go
right to your thighs...

229
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:58,655
My thighs?

230
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,137
And then you'll blow up.

231
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,793
Yeah...

232
00:11:08,896 --> 00:11:12,655
I remember my first
Krabby Patty.

233
00:11:55,103 --> 00:11:56,103
Excuse me, Miss.

234
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:57,631
I don't want to have
to report you again.

235
00:11:57,655 --> 00:11:59,103
I was just wondering....

236
00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:02,620
Is it the "homework pencil"
on the left side of the paper

237
00:12:02,724 --> 00:12:04,000
next to the "quiz pencil"

238
00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:06,241
or over on the right side,
all by itself... or...

239
00:12:06,344 --> 00:12:08,379
I think it goes
stuck inside your...

240
00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:09,482
Wait! I got it!

241
00:12:09,551 --> 00:12:11,344
The "quiz pencil"
goes right over here

242
00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:12,620
next to the "essay" pencil.

243
00:12:12,724 --> 00:12:14,551
And the "essay" pencil
gets turned sideways

244
00:12:14,655 --> 00:12:15,724
towards the notepad.

245
00:12:15,827 --> 00:12:17,413
Just in case
I have to write an essay.

246
00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:19,172
Good morning, class!

247
00:12:19,275 --> 00:12:20,586
Sorry I'm late...

248
00:12:20,689 --> 00:12:22,241
I got caught in traffic
on the way here

249
00:12:22,344 --> 00:12:25,758
when that whole
"I'm gonna be doing this
for the rest of my life" thing

250
00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:26,862
reared its ugly head

251
00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:28,068
and I...

252
00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:31,482
Anyway, we have a new student
starting today.

253
00:12:31,586 --> 00:12:34,862
So let's all put on a happy face

254
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:37,241
for Flats the Flounder.

255
00:12:39,896 --> 00:12:41,736
Tell the class something
about yourself, Flats.

256
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:46,206
Well, I like to
kick people's butts.

257
00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:49,793
What a card.

258
00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:51,827
Now, Flats, it's time
to pick your seat.

259
00:12:51,931 --> 00:12:55,896
Just go ahead
and sit anywhere you like.

260
00:12:57,965 --> 00:13:01,827
Okay, class,
as you remember last week...

261
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:04,482
Hi, I'm SpongeBob.

262
00:13:04,586 --> 00:13:05,896
Hi, SpongeBob.

263
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,172
I'm gonna kick your butt.

264
00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:09,275
Whoa!

265
00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:13,206
That joke was almost
funnier the second time.

266
00:13:13,310 --> 00:13:15,000
No... I mean it.

267
00:13:15,103 --> 00:13:19,931
That time
it almost seemed like...

268
00:13:21,413 --> 00:13:24,310
you did mean it.

269
00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:25,241
Mrs. Puff.

270
00:13:25,344 --> 00:13:26,344
Yes, SpongeBob?

271
00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:28,206
Can I be excused
for the rest of my life?

272
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,517
Why no, SpongeBob.

273
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:32,655
I'm in the middle of a coffee-
fueled sermon right now.

274
00:13:32,758 --> 00:13:36,724
You can't afford
to miss this information.

275
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:38,793
Yes, Mrs.Puff.

276
00:13:38,896 --> 00:13:41,103
Sorry, Mrs. Puff.

277
00:13:41,206 --> 00:13:43,931
Now... can I please
have a volunteer

278
00:13:44,034 --> 00:13:45,758
to come up to the board?

279
00:13:45,862 --> 00:13:48,103
How about you, Flats?

280
00:13:48,206 --> 00:13:49,286
Please draw for us a diagram

281
00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:52,620
of a basic four-way
intersection, Flats.

282
00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:57,310
Please turn and show the class

283
00:13:57,413 --> 00:14:00,482
what you drew, honey.

284
00:14:03,172 --> 00:14:05,655
My!
How very creative!

285
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:08,620
We have an artist in the class!

286
00:14:16,137 --> 00:14:18,103
I just don't understand.

287
00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:19,724
Why would Flats
want to kick mybutt?

288
00:14:19,827 --> 00:14:23,896
I haven't said
two words to the guy!

289
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,586
Hi, I'm SpongeBob.

290
00:14:26,689 --> 00:14:28,448
One... two...

291
00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:29,724
Oh no, that's three!

292
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,034
What am I gonna do?

293
00:14:32,034 --> 00:14:34,379
What's that?! Someone's coming.

294
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:35,172
They're getting closer.

295
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,344
I just got to act natural.

296
00:14:40,551 --> 00:14:42,862
Oh, that's real nice.

297
00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:47,172
Whew!
I thought for sure
that was gonna be...

298
00:14:47,275 --> 00:14:48,896
Flats?!

299
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,517
Uh, hello, um... sir.

300
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:53,379
Uh... kicked any
good butts lately?

301
00:14:53,482 --> 00:14:54,522
Yeah, I remember last week

302
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:57,793
I was kickin' this
guy's butt real good...

303
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,275
and he leans over and says...

304
00:14:59,379 --> 00:15:02,206
"Hey, ya know... life's like
a bucket of wood shavings,

305
00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,551
"except for when the shavings
are in a pail...

306
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:08,000
then it's like a pail
of wood shavings."

307
00:15:08,103 --> 00:15:10,448
Hey, that story
really speaks to me.

308
00:15:10,551 --> 00:15:11,689
Really? What's it say?

309
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:14,896
It says now I'm gonna
kick your butt twice as hard.

310
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,000
It says now I'm gonna
kick your butt twice as hard.

311
00:15:19,344 --> 00:15:21,758
And I'll leave
Gary's water bowl to Gary

312
00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:22,896
and my curtains to...

313
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,724
Oh, Neptune,
I just can't do this!

314
00:15:28,137 --> 00:15:29,389
Death row.
"Next-in-line" speaking.

315
00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:33,827
Hi! I'd like to place
an order for delivery.

316
00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:36,344
Patrick! Is that you?

317
00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:37,517
Yeah. Hey, Mario.

318
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:39,862
Let me get a large,
double olive, double...

319
00:15:39,965 --> 00:15:42,517
Patrick, listen!
It's me, SpongeBob!

320
00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:44,275
I need your help.

321
00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:46,689
You're working
at Pizza Castle now?

322
00:15:46,793 --> 00:15:48,827
What? No... listen!

323
00:15:48,931 --> 00:15:50,344
I'm in big trouble.

324
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:53,275
There's a new guy at school here
and he wants kick my butt.

325
00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:54,389
Listen, you're big and strong.

326
00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:56,379
Do you think
you can come down here...

327
00:15:56,482 --> 00:16:00,275
maybe rough him up a bit,
just to get him off my back?

328
00:16:00,379 --> 00:16:01,517
Please, Patrick!

329
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:04,620
I'm so scared it feels
like I'm gonna throw up.

330
00:16:04,724 --> 00:16:06,517
No, they're not closed...

331
00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,034
I know, you want olives...

332
00:16:08,137 --> 00:16:08,793
Patrick? You there?

333
00:16:08,896 --> 00:16:11,172
Oh, I'm sorry, SpongeBob.

334
00:16:11,275 --> 00:16:14,275
I was just talking
to my old community
college buddy, Flats.

335
00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:18,137
I bumped into him
at the soda store,
isn't that funny?

336
00:16:18,241 --> 00:16:21,862
It must have been years
since we've seen each other.

337
00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:23,068
Well, let me get going.

338
00:16:23,172 --> 00:16:25,103
He's got to go
back to school soon.

339
00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:28,241
He says he's got to
kick somebody's butt.

340
00:16:28,344 --> 00:16:30,275
Aah...!

341
00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:32,310
Hello?
Is this Pizza Castle?

342
00:16:32,413 --> 00:16:36,137
Aah...!

343
00:16:36,241 --> 00:16:38,689
Come in, SpongeBob.

344
00:16:41,689 --> 00:16:45,206
Mrs. Puff, can I be
in a different class?

345
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:45,931
But why?

346
00:16:46,034 --> 00:16:47,551
I can't tell you.

347
00:16:47,655 --> 00:16:48,896
Why ever not?

348
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,275
I just can't, Mrs. Puff.

349
00:16:50,379 --> 00:16:52,241
My physical being is at stake.

350
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,931
Let's just leave it at that.

351
00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:56,793
SpongeBob,
you can tell me anything.

352
00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:59,310
You've got to believe that.

353
00:16:59,413 --> 00:17:00,517
Well... okay.

354
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,586
But only if you promise
to keep it between us.

355
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:04,586
Of course.

356
00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:06,049
Flats says
he's gonna kick my butt!

357
00:17:06,103 --> 00:17:10,103
What?! There shall be
no butt-kicking

358
00:17:10,206 --> 00:17:11,827
in any class of mine.

359
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,965
This is an adult program.

360
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:16,689
SpongeBob, just leave it to me.

361
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:18,206
Aw, thanks, Mrs. Puff.

362
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,241
I knew I could count on you.

363
00:17:23,448 --> 00:17:24,562
Have a nice lunch, SpongeBob?

364
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:26,344
Yes, Mrs. Puff.

365
00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:27,758
Psst! SpongeBob!

366
00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:30,551
I talked to Flats for you.

367
00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:31,689
I used your name.

368
00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:33,896
It was all a misunderstanding.

369
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,137
You what?!

370
00:17:35,241 --> 00:17:36,320
He was never going to
kick your butt at all.

371
00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:40,206
You see, SpongeBob,
Flats is from a town

372
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,344
where "kicking someone's butt"

373
00:17:42,448 --> 00:17:45,586
means that he wants
to be your friend

374
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,034
and maybe play

375
00:17:47,137 --> 00:17:47,965
some sports with you
on weekends. and maybe play

376
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,413
some sports with you
on weekends.

377
00:17:49,517 --> 00:17:51,137
I got diarrhea.

378
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:55,896
Huh?

379
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,448
Are you Flats's Dad?

380
00:17:58,551 --> 00:17:59,862
Why, yes, I am.

381
00:17:59,965 --> 00:18:00,965
Okay, see...

382
00:18:01,034 --> 00:18:02,314
I didn't know
where else to turn!

383
00:18:02,413 --> 00:18:03,413
Patrick couldn't help me

384
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:04,931
and Mrs. Puff
only made it worse!

385
00:18:05,034 --> 00:18:07,034
I sit next to your son
Flats in school

386
00:18:07,137 --> 00:18:08,257
and he is a fine boy and all

387
00:18:08,310 --> 00:18:10,793
and I don't want you
to take this the wrong way

388
00:18:10,896 --> 00:18:12,310
but he wants to kick my butt.

389
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:13,827
Dad, what are you doing?

390
00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:14,931
Uh, nothing, son.

391
00:18:15,034 --> 00:18:16,068
What did I tell you

392
00:18:16,172 --> 00:18:17,000
about talking to strangers?

393
00:18:17,103 --> 00:18:21,068
Now he's going to kick mybutt.

394
00:18:21,172 --> 00:18:24,896
Aah...!

395
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,758
Out of my way! Out of my way!

396
00:18:26,862 --> 00:18:30,310
Can't you see
he's going to kick my butt?!

397
00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:33,862
Hi there, young people!

398
00:18:33,965 --> 00:18:34,965
Nice day today.

399
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,310
So you like kickin'
butts, do ya?

400
00:18:37,413 --> 00:18:39,206
Well, we'll show you, old man.

401
00:18:46,379 --> 00:18:47,689
Okay, okay, I got to skip town!

402
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,241
Start a new life!
Live under an assumed name!

403
00:18:50,344 --> 00:18:52,517
BobPants SpongeSquare!
Yeah, that's good.

404
00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:54,896
Grow a beard
and then shave it off....

405
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,413
and live happily ever after.

406
00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:58,310
Yeah, except you forgot the part

407
00:18:58,413 --> 00:18:59,586
where I kick your butt!

408
00:19:15,896 --> 00:19:17,344
Whoa...!

409
00:19:22,758 --> 00:19:23,758
Hey, Flats.

410
00:19:23,793 --> 00:19:25,689
You feeling better?

411
00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:29,758
Wh-wh-hat? Where am I?

412
00:19:29,862 --> 00:19:31,137
Why, you're in the hospital.

413
00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:32,251
This young boy saved your life.

414
00:19:32,275 --> 00:19:34,931
He performed CPR
for five hours straight.

415
00:19:35,034 --> 00:19:37,965
Yeah... they said you'd be okay
after the first few minutes

416
00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:40,620
but I just wanted to be sure.

417
00:19:40,724 --> 00:19:42,310
Wow! I'm touched.

418
00:19:42,413 --> 00:19:45,620
I'll have to remember that
when I'm kicking your butt.

419
00:19:46,068 --> 00:19:47,655
Those flowers for me?

420
00:19:47,758 --> 00:19:49,068
Aah...!

421
00:19:49,172 --> 00:19:52,103
He's still gonna kick my butt!

422
00:19:52,206 --> 00:19:54,000
How many times do we have to

423
00:19:54,103 --> 00:19:56,344
teach you this lesson, old man?

424
00:19:56,448 --> 00:19:58,103
I love the young people.

425
00:20:01,862 --> 00:20:03,620
Aah...!

426
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,724
Oh Gary! I'm too young
to have my butt kicked.

427
00:20:06,827 --> 00:20:11,862
There are so many things in life
that I haven't gotten to do!

428
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:14,310
Hang on...
I'll transfer your call.

429
00:20:15,655 --> 00:20:17,206
Who is it?

430
00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:19,793
Aah...! Flats!

431
00:20:19,896 --> 00:20:22,172
It's butt-kicking time.

432
00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:24,103
Gary, there's something
I want you to know.

433
00:20:24,206 --> 00:20:26,172
But I'm too scared
to remember what it is.

434
00:20:39,724 --> 00:20:40,931
Let's do it.

435
00:20:41,034 --> 00:20:42,275
Go away, Gary.

436
00:20:42,379 --> 00:20:45,379
I don't want you to see this,
it'll be ugly.

437
00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:48,068
Are you ready?

438
00:20:48,172 --> 00:20:49,517
Hold on.

439
00:20:50,758 --> 00:20:52,793
Okay, I'm ready.

440
00:20:58,344 --> 00:20:59,758
I said, I'm ready.

441
00:20:59,862 --> 00:21:00,862
Huh?

442
00:21:04,241 --> 00:21:05,344
Didn't you hear me?

443
00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:06,448
I said I'm ready.

444
00:21:08,413 --> 00:21:10,551
That tickled!

445
00:21:18,586 --> 00:21:20,482
Gary! I'm absorbing
his blows

446
00:21:20,586 --> 00:21:24,310
like I was made of some
kind of spongy material!

447
00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:26,620
And do you know what that means?

448
00:21:26,724 --> 00:21:29,068
I get to go to work tomorrow!

449
00:21:32,103 --> 00:21:33,586
Do you have any sevens?

450
00:22:00,379 --> 00:22:01,379
Flats? Are you okay?

451
00:22:04,517 --> 00:22:07,551
Do not cheer me, my
fellow adult classmates.

452
00:22:07,655 --> 00:22:09,965
Flats was the real victim here.

453
00:22:10,068 --> 00:22:11,344
A victim of a society

454
00:22:11,448 --> 00:22:14,655
that's riding down
a violent road to nowhere...

455
00:22:14,758 --> 00:22:17,344
a road I call "Violence Road."

456
00:22:17,448 --> 00:22:18,827
Sorry I'm late, class.

457
00:22:18,931 --> 00:22:20,931
I...

458
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,103
SpongeBob!

459
00:22:24,206 --> 00:22:27,724
I can't believe
you beat up a new student!

460
00:22:27,827 --> 00:22:31,793
I'm going to kick your butt!

461
00:22:33,724 --> 00:22:37,689
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

462
00:22:37,793 --> 00:22:40,206
and NICKELODEON

463
00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:44,896
[Captioned byThe Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]